Belonging
by silverbranches
Summary: All Mulan had ever wanted was to belong. Really, truly, belong. It just took her a while to find a place where she did. One-shot.


_Just a little idea that popped into my head. Enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon a Time._

* * *

When Mulan had been a young girl, there were many things she didn't believe in.

She believed in magic, of course. Who couldn't, when the proof was in front of them everyday – on the street corners, performers who conjured flames from thin air and dragons from the flames.

But she didn't believe in love. Girls in her land married for honor, to serve their families. Not for something as foolish and inconceivable as _love._

Also – although she had never told anyone this – Mulan never believed that she had a place to belong. She had a _house_ – a square building decorated with colorful tiles and red paint. But the more she tried to fit in, tried to be the perfect daughter for her parents, the more she realized that there was no place for her in that life.

Then the war came, and a prince whose pride would lead them into ruin led soldiers into hopeless battle after hopeless battle. The light from funeral pyres and mourning candles shone as brightly as the stars every night, and all seemed lost.

Mulan, for once, had felt like she had discovered a purpose in life, something to help her belong. She knew she could fight as well as any man, and the kingdom was in desperate need of more soldiers. She made the decision without hesitation, to be the first woman to join the imperial army. It had never been explicitly forbidden, but when Mulan revealed her intentions to her parents, they made their outrage clear.

_Father, I can help win this war! I can fight, and you know that – _

_I know my _place_, Mulan! It's time that you learned yours._

She hadn't listened. She disguised herself as a man, she had fought, and she had helped her kingdom achieve victory.

Her reward? Banishment. Her family cast her out, because she had "brought dishonor to their name". Her father had told her outright that he longer had a daughter. There was nothing remaining for her in the kingdom-that-had-never-been-her-home, so she left. She rode away and she never looked back, telling herself that she didn't need them, that now she would be able to become the best warrior that had ever been. She vowed to lock away her emotions, because no matter how many times she told herself the betrayal of her family had meant nothing, it still stung. She didn't believe in love, but she had loved her family, and now their hatred left her numb.

So she vowed to never let it happen again.

She spent years traveling, doing whatever she wanted and going wherever the wind took her. She wasn't happy, but she was content.

Then she met Belle, and then Phillip. And she thought that she could love him, _did_ love him, even though she knew he was searching for his True Love.

He found her, and she felt like an outsider at their happy reunion. She felt unwanted, unneeded, and she hated feeling that way.

Phillip died, though, and she felt a grief so consuming that she could do nothing else but protect Aurora, like he had wanted. And, much like with Phillip, she found herself growing to like the quiet princess.

Mulan was no stranger to noble sacrifices. They had defined her life after all: she had sacrificed her family for both victory in war and freedom. So when they had recovered Phillip, she had kept silent about her feelings, sacrificing love for friendship. But when that wasn't enough, when Baelfire had convinced her that silence was the worst thing she could ever do, she decided to admit her feelings at last. Yet she had to make another noble sacrifice. Because she was not the type of person to tear a family apart. After all, she knew the feeling too well.

So she left, and when she was sure there was no one around to see, she stopped and cried, and wondered if this was her fate to be forever leaving without finding a place to _stay._ She cried and cried and cried until the sky had darkened and she had no tears left.

(And wouldn't her father be truly disappointed? It was he, after all, that had said nothing was ever worth her tears.)

She traveled to Robin Hood's encampment, the only option she had left, and he welcomed her with a handshake and an offer of food. Later, once she was full of stew and laughing – truly laughing – at the merry conversation, did Robin say, "Now, let me introduce you to my merry men. This is Little John, that there is Friar Tuck, and over there is Shang."

She greeted them with a smile, and they smiled back. Friar Tuck offered her a flagon of ale. They welcomed her instantly, these men who knew nothing about her, welcomed her with _respect_ in her eyes and smiles on their faces. They were more of a family in the few minutes she had known them than anyone else she had ever met before.

So Mulan, for the first time in her entire life, felt like she was _home._

* * *

_So, what did you think?_


End file.
